We are not influencers (at least not yet)
Once this process of leaving traditional churches because of ideological and political differences got the label “deconstruction,” a whole industry took off. Courses, coaches, and communities sprung up and we have a raft of influencers, too. In one way I find it comforting to be part of a movement that is becoming more mainstream. But I also raise an anti-capitalist eyebrow of suspicion, not at individuals, but at what is happening in the movement in general.
Coach is a common word these days. I even call myself a “spiritual director and coach” on my professional website. Coaching is a valuable skill. I have benefited a great deal from coaching so I am not against someone calling themselves a deconstruction coach. Some people need that one-to-one regular support from a coach, just like I have, and I’m all for it.
I fully support leaders charging a fee for their work, even though we do not. Leadership and care takes time and money and a lot of behind-the-scenes relationship building, prayer, professional development, and personal development, let alone paying for the rent or technology in order to be available. Sure, not everyone can afford to pay to be part of something like this, but every leader and coach I know offers a sliding scale of fees and will even have some spaces they can offer for free. We receive generous grants from the PC(USA) and the United Church of Christ so we don’t have to charge a fee. Not everyone is so fortunate.
Of course, every coach, course, and community is going to say they are unique, and they are. A great deal of healing happens in these relationships. The coaches I know and have read are kind, professional, authentic, and good at what they do. But in my little heart of hearts and with over 30 years experience in what I call “Churchland,” I think Harbor is unique.
Here is my list of 5 things Harbor is not.
We are not coaches. A coach is an individual you meet with on a regular basis to work on specific aspects of your life. You might have an executive coach to help you at work, a life coach to help you find your goals and your purpose, a relationship coach to help you in relationships or to work with you and another person, or a deconstruction coach to help you work through the questions and worries that come up in this weird stage on your spiritual path. That’s not us. We are a community of people focussed on centering our lives around love, compassion, and justice (what most of us call the way of Jesus). We support each other and our pastors facilitate and offer opportunities to learn from one another.
We are not a course. I am a huge proponent of adult learning. I’m doing a PhD for crying out loud! And there are some great topical courses out there where you can find community, teaching, and new perspectives. But again, not us. Sometimes we take a course together in small groups. Our Thursday gatherings usually focus on a topic series. But we don’t have a program that is published and distributable. I never know what I am going to learn on a Thursday night or in my small groups. We place a high value on curiosity and following our questions, which makes for a very unpredictable path not well suited to a particular program.
We are not influencers (at least not yet). Our pastors are bivocational. That means Harbor is just one of the “jobs” or even careers that we each have. This is a huge asset to our community. It allows Harbor to have a team of leaders rather than it all resting on one leader’s shoulders, and we each bring unique skills that we learn and grow in our other work. All that to say, none of us is working on building our personal brands from Harbor because we have the financial support that we need. Now, I am not saying never. We are three creative people and are regularly sought out as speakers and writers. But Harbor’s brand is our community, not our pastors.
We are not a cohort. Cohorts are awesome. A cohort is an intentional group of people who start a process, community, or program together. Usually, after a brief start-up time, the cohort is closed to new members until it ends and a new one starts up. We have one small group that operates as a cohort at Harbor, but other than that we have a lot of transition in our membership. We have some core folks who have been with us since the early days and some who we have known only for a brief time. This transience is healthy, I think. We never become cliquish or comfortable because we are always welcoming new people and saying goodbye to others.
We are not an “intentional community.” This might be some inside language. An intentional community is a group of people who agree to live by a particular “rule of life.” I am part of an intentional community as an Associate of the Order of the Holy Cross, for example. We pray either together or at the same time from wherever we are. We agree on values and rules by which we will live our lives. Harbor is not that. We have our guidelines, but we do not expect people to follow any particular rules such as a specific prayer time, what to do with money, how to raise a family, or what we read and learn.
My lack of branding prowess is showing as I frame all these in the negative instead of telling you what we are. I think it’s helpful once in a while to say what we are not so we can stop comparing ourselves to those with a bigger audience or different purpose. What we are, and what we will always be, is community.
