Right now I’m standing

Once upon a time, not very long ago, when I was struck with a hard question, or hurt by the world, I would turn to the Bible, or to the prayers of my tradition. Lately, I am expanding my library of what I call sacred text by learning more poetry. 

As I feel the words of the leaked ruling by Justice Samuel Alito in my organs and bones, I want to avoid the Bible. The books of the Bible were written for cis-male minds, cis-male bodies. And yet, the marginalized women in these sacred books still have voice: Hagar, Hannah, the woman at the well, the woman threatened by stoning. I lament, like a psalmist, grasping for something to brace myself against as I sense enemies all around. But I’m not at war. Not yet. 

I am not a poetry expert by any stretch. I trust search engines, the Poetry Foundation, and a particular poetry guide, Padraig O’Tuama. I found this poem this morning, thanks to Padraig:

Right now I’m Standing

beneath what used to be
I imagine   an impressive tree
Split down its bole it
has sprouted green leaves   that will be rustling
way into September
At its base lying athwart the clearing
is the severed part

The colour of brown has weathered to near-grey
and the footfall of walkers has covered
the wood with a layer of dust & yet
the part that has fallen among the spikenard
and hungry shrubs surges out of death

The raspberries feed on its breath
and beetles thrive in the slurry middle
where the bole rots

Listen   there is nothing as exhilarating
as the feeling of life coming into you

Though people
look suspiciously
stand and listen   do not go anywhere

we have been the workers
just the workers

In the Congo   one man had a land
almost eighty times
the size of Belgium   as his estate

We have been property

When I talk about reclaiming time
I’m just thinking about my body
standing in the middle of this woodland
and
doing nothing   nothing

– Jason Allen-Paisant

Jason Allen-Paisant, a black man living in a city where he is a target as well as a resident, claims space in nature, under a tree that exhibits growth and decay, life and death, and pride of place by simply staying put. 

We are living in a time when bodies are commodities, targets, and weapons. But these bodies, temples of the Holy Spirit, are ours. My body is mine. Your body is yours. 

In times like these, our bodies can rest, stand, speak, dance, be comfortable, be assisted, and embrace. Taking space is a powerful act. 

--------

Tomorrow night (5/12/22), we are going to take a careful step to discuss the leaked ruling by Justice Alito to overturn Roe v. Wade. Abortion is more than an issue. It is bodies, families, grief, relief, ethics, and care. Jon, Dottie, and I are working hard to make Thursday evening as safe as we can. 

If you need to talk or have questions or concerns about how we handle this, please email me at dawn@onlineharbor.org and we can set up a time. Whatever your feelings, there is space for you. Please review Harbor’s guidelines in order to participate in caring discussion:

Harbor Guidelines

• You choose your level of vulnerability. (We encourage you to share, but it is up to you.)

• We will consider everything shared to be confidential.

• Accept the journey and perspectives of others.

• When meeting someone new, share your pronouns (they/them, etc.).

• This space is safe to share all beliefs and opinions, except for those that dehumanize others (racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.).

• Please use a warning before sharing a story with disturbing or traumatizing content (e.g. abuse, violence, homophobia, etc.).

• Your first time here, please take on the role of listener and only contribute when invited to share.