Returning to words
Two weeks ago, Jon wrote about his evolving relationship with prayer over his spiritual journey. He mentioned seasons where certain types of prayer seem appropriate and others do not. I think anyone going through a change of faith can’t help but ask what prayer means to them or accomplishes in their new understanding of God and how God works in our lives and the world.
Silent contemplation has been my way of communicating with God for many years now. The result is I am now a pastor who is terrible at extemporaneous prayer. Please please don’t ask me to say grace at your meal, but I’d be very happy to draw you into a grateful silence. Silence and contemplation have widened my awareness of God’s presence in my world and life.
Lately, though, a new season has come upon me. I joined a cohort a few weeks ago using an ancient practice of spiritual exercises that requires an open imagination and direct conversations with the Creator and Jesus himself. The book helpfully provides a few examples to get the juices flowing, but, for the most part, the conversations are guided by questions and your own experience with the exercise. Each exercise ends with a written prayer addressed directly to God, asking questions, asking for grace, thanking God for Their love and presence.
At first, my prayers felt very demanding. I pictured God as the parent of one of those kids I hear in the checkout line asking for this candy? What about this one? What if I just get this one? If I do this can I get that one? I imagined God as the weary caregiver asking their child to please be quiet. I always try to give those parents an encouraging smile to say, “It’s ok. I’m happy to share this line with you and your kids. I understand.”
As the weeks went on, though, and I got used to talking in prayer, I started to open up more. I talked about what I wanted for me, my family, my loved ones, and the world. This was different, though, than the wordy prayers I prayed years ago. I don’t expect God to just give me what I want. I don’t know if God could even if They wanted to. Instead, I sense God holding me, listening, and sharing my experience. The God who hears my prayer today is one who wants to share and work with me and I with Them.
Last month I met someone who, at the end of our meeting, asked, “How can I pray for you today?” I was surprised because we had just talked about our own rejection of evangelicalism. Still, I sensed in his request a concern for me and genuine desire to support me however he could. I also sensed that God wanted the same thing. So we exchanged prayer requests, and I did pray for him. I’ve started asking some folks-those I sense are open to being prayed for in this way-the same question. Because there is something precious about someone committing to hold space in their busy mind for you.
What I’m learning is that prayer is a gift and a grace from God. It is an invitation to share space physically, spiritually, even cosmically, with the Creator of the universe to just be. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we gaze silently. Sometimes we dance. It is all prayer.
How can I pray for you today?
